I thought it’d be a good idea to check out Stardew Valley, maybe plant some crops and meet the local villagers. Have some laughs over a drink at the Stardrop Saloon and call it a day. That was 72 hours ago. I haven’t left. I’ve been farming for over two years. My best friend is a monster that lives in a sewer, and I’ve been to level 120 in the mines. I’ve seen Shane’s six-heart event. Somehow I even managed to get married. Send help.
I decided to tell my wife about my problem. She already knew something was up – as it turns out you can’t spend almost 3 full days playing a game without your “real-world” family noticing.
“I’m thinking about quitting Stardew Valley but I’m conflicted…” I mention off-hand, trying to keep it casual.
“oh yeah, why is that?” she replies.
I hesitate. “Well my in-game wife is pregnant with my child and I feel like quitting now would be the same as aborting it.”
“oh … my god.”
Later after she’s had a chance to process what I’ve burdened her with, she decides to check in while I’m making my daily run to the village.
“Who’s that?” she asks, pointing at the screen
“That’s Pam – She’s the bus driver, she’s on her way to the bus stop.”
“Oh? Is she your wife?”
I laugh. “Oh haha no, definitely not. She’s ok, but she’s a drunk. She’s running late today because she’s still hung-over from last night at the bar. Sometimes I bring her a beer or two before we drive into the desert because I like to live dangerously”.
“You have a problem.”
Tell me something I don’t know.